I am a mess...

Yes, even on the good days, when I am productive, I am still a mess. One big chaotic, nickel and dime myself to death mess. I know that there has to be an answer out there. I know that I have to have something that I'm working towards, right? Isn't there a light at the end of every tunnel? I feel like I'm fumbling in the darkness. I think I see a light, but then it's gone.