Monday, January 2, 2012


"And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had" - Mad World, by Tears for Fears

Suicide is a very frightening possibility in the bipolar world. Sometimes, like now, I feel strong, unbreakable, but I know that it is only temporary; just like the pain. I don't want to die! I love many things in life, such as my wonderful children, but even that isn't comforting when everything goes dark. I don't think anyone really wants to die, but sometimes it hurts so bad, that that seems like the only way to make it stop...forever.

In those times, there is no quick fix. I just hide away and tell myself over and over that this feeling will pass, and I am strong enough to live through it. There has to be a solution out there somewhere. Life is for the living. We only get one shot at it, no matter what the challenges we face. My hope is that I get a chance to leave my mark in this beautiful place before I leave it.

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