Thursday, January 5, 2012

Tough day...

Today has been a challenge. Slept the morning away and have felt ill all day. Sometimes it is hard to tell if I'm actually ill or if it is psychosomatic. It doesn't matter, because it feels the same. I went to bed early last night, sprayed nice smelling linen spray on my body pillow, and really thought I would wake up in feeling refreshed. Well, I was wrong. I need to beat this. I'm tired of feeling like this.

Sometimes, I just can't understand why I can't do what I need to do. I have a plan, I know what I should do, yet my brain rebels. I still fight, but most of the time, in the end, I have to give in. I can't even explain it. I am constantly trying to find ways to trick my brain into behaving. I just want to be normal. I'm not lazy, but I'm sure that it would appear that way to someone who doesn't understand this disorder. I know I can win. I like a challenge...sometimes.

Today, it is just frustrating. I have absolutely no energy, no matter how hard I try. I would like to get at least something accomplished tonight; laundry, dishes, something. That is my goal for the night.

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